TED prop replica

This is an adults only talking life-size replica of TED from Seth MacFarlane’s hilarious movie of the same name (if you want a clean talking version, read further below).

Sized at 24″, this life-size replica of TED says the 5 phrases (remember, these are adults only!):

  1. “Yeah, I mean, y-you know when you sewed me up you put some of the stuffing in the wrong places so I’m-I’m a little f@!#ed up, but will you take care of me for ever and ever?… Aha! I’m just kidding you! I thought it’d be funny if you thought I was f@!#ing retarded.”
  2. “You ever hear a Boston girl have an orgasm?” “Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Harder! Harder! Oh, God, that was so good! Now I’m gonna stuff my f@!#in’ face with Pepperidge Farm.”
  3. “Well you never should’ve trusted me, I’m on drugs!”
  4. “Alright c’mon, let’s sing the Thunder Song. When you hear the sound of thunder, don’t you get too scared. Just grab your Thunder Buddy and say these magic words: F@!# you, Thunder! You can suck my d@!#. You can’t get me, Thunder, ’cause you’re just God’s farts (makes fart noise).”
  5. “Oh f@!# that, it’s been 4 years, Johnny! You and me have been together for 27 years; where’s my ring, huh? Where’s my ring, @!#hole? Where’s my ring, mother f@!#er? Put it on my fuzzy finger, you f@!#! C’mon!”

The adults only TED will set you back $139.99 from some sources so forget that. Entertainment Earth have them for only $59.99 which is a steal. Here’s the link you need for the adult version:

R-Rated Talking Life-Size 24″ TED Replica (via EE) 

Clean Talking Version

If you don’t want an adults only version, you can also get a clean talking TED for only $59.99 that says the following 12 phrases:

  1. “I look like something you give your kid when you tell them Grandma died.” 
  2. “C’mon, I don’t sound that much like Peter Griffin.” 
  3. “That’s my bad. I was sending a tweet.” 
  4. “The brewski run.” 
  5. “I wuv you.”
  6. “Okay, alright, so that’s where we’ll draw the line.” 
  7. “You know what I’d like to do to her, something I call the dirty Fozzie.” 
  8. “Will you take care of me for ever and ever?” 
  9. “Good talk, Coach.” 
  10. “Stick your finger in the loop of my tag.” 
  11. “C’mere, ya bastard.” 
  12. “I didn’t know you had a baby. Is it alive?”

Clean Talking LIfe-Size 24″ TED Replica (via EE)

Be aware that these Commonwealth manufactured replicas of TED do not provided the ability to change batteries. Estimated battery life is around 3,000 plays of the available phrases, so it will last a long time at least.