TED prop replica

Life-size replica of TED from Seth MacFarlane’s TED movie.

Comes in two versions:

1. Adults Only Version

Sized at 24″, the Adults Only life-size replica of TED says the following phrases:

  1. “Yeah, I mean, y-you know when you sewed me up you put some of the stuffing in the wrong places so I’m-I’m a little f@!#ed up, but will you take care of me for ever and ever?… Aha! I’m just kidding you! I thought it’d be funny if you thought I was f@!#ing retarded.”
  2. “You ever hear a Boston girl have an orgasm?” “Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Harder! Harder! Oh, God, that was so good! Now I’m gonna stuff my f@!#in’ face with Pepperidge Farm.”
  3. “Well you never should’ve trusted me, I’m on drugs!”
  4. “Alright c’mon, let’s sing the Thunder Song. When you hear the sound of thunder, don’t you get too scared. Just grab your Thunder Buddy and say these magic words: F@!# you, Thunder! You can suck my d@!#. You can’t get me, Thunder, ’cause you’re just God’s farts (makes fart noise).”
  5. “Oh f@!# that, it’s been 4 years, Johnny! You and me have been together for 27 years; where’s my ring, huh? Where’s my ring, @!#hole? Where’s my ring, mother f@!#er? Put it on my fuzzy finger, you f@!#! C’mon!”

2. Clean Talking Version

Sized at 24″, the Clean Talking life-size replica of TED says the following phrases:

  1. “I look like something you give your kid when you tell them Grandma died.”
  2. “C’mon, I don’t sound that much like Peter Griffin.”
  3. “That’s my bad. I was sending a tweet.”
  4. “The brewski run.”
  5. “I wuv you.”
  6. “Okay, alright, so that’s where we’ll draw the line.”
  7. “You know what I’d like to do to her, something I call the dirty Fozzie.”
  8. “Will you take care of me for ever and ever?”
  9. “Good talk, Coach.”
  10. “Stick your finger in the loop of my tag.”
  11. “C’mere, ya bastard.”
  12. “I didn’t know you had a baby. Is it alive?”

Be aware that these Commonwealth manufactured replicas of TED do not provided the ability to change batteries. Estimated battery life is around 3,000 plays of the available phrases.


These TED prop replicas are now sold out.

To get one now, your best bet is to periodically check eBay for a sale.